Monday, February 21, 2011

When you know... did the right thing!

Andrew started preschool in September and by the second week I knew something wasn't right.  When he came home from school and I asked him how his day was he would say fine and nothing else.  I would ask who he played with and he would simply say "No one.  I played by myself."   It brook my heart but inside I knew something wasn't right so I went to his teacher and asked her how Andrew was doing at school.  I asked her if he was playing and interacting with other kids and she said yes that he is very happy.  I told her that he says he doesn't play with anyone at play time after lunch and she said no he usually plays by himself but not to worry that is normal.  I pushed all my feelings aside as me just completely over reacting and wanting to protect my sometimes "socially challenged" child.

After a few more weeks Andrew came home and said a little boy stole his juice box from his lunch.  I couldn't believe it...really?  Andrew being Andrew didn't want this kid to get in trouble so he didn't tell the teacher.  The next morning I inform the teacher and she said she was sorry that she would watch to make sure it didn't happen again.  Well the kid did try and do it again, but this time Andrew stopped him (this was after a long talk with him telling him not to let the kid take his stuff). 

A few more weeks went by and it was becoming much more obvious that Andrew was not enjoying school like he did the previous year only I couldn't figure out why.  He started telling me he was sick and couldn't go to school.  He had no symptoms of being sick and I knew he was not telling me the truth so I told him if he was too sick to go to school then he had to stay in his room, in his bed, with no toys, tv or books.  He did!  All day that little boy stayed in his room and he was prepared to do it again the next day.  What child would rather stay in his room all day then go to school?  I sat down and had a very serious conversation with Andrew and he was crying and just said that kids were mean to him.  I asked him who and he gave me two names.  I asked him what they did and he said that they called him names and would poke and push him.   So into school I go and talk to the teacher again.  She moved one of the little boys away from Andrew and for a while that seemed to work.  Sadly there were other signs that at the time didn't make sense.  He stopped eating lunch, he wouldn't complete his work, he couldn't write his name, he wouldn't even practice writing or any other school work.

Then the day and moment I lost it!  During the Christmas program as I am watching Andrew smile big and wave to us one of those little brats boys starts screaming in Andrew's ear. I can see Andrew telling him to stop and then the kids hits Andrew in the head.   That was it for me and that was it for Andrew.  I was not going to let this go on any longer.  I wasn't sure exactly what I was going to do in that moment but I knew something was going to have to happen before Andrew started to hate school so much that he wouldn't want to go to Kindergarten next year.   Luckily I had two weeks to think it over because it was Christmas break.

I had a stomach ache about this for the full two weeks but decided the only thing I could really do was take him out of that situation.  I found a new school for Andrew.  Now Andrew hates change and I really thought when I told him he was going to a new school (half way through the year) he was going to flip out, but much to my surprise he was so excited.  I knew then that I had made the right decision. 

Now that Andrew has been there two months I can say that my child is completely different.  He loves going to school everyday.  He gets in the car all excited and tells me tons of details about his day and how he now has friends and he plays with everyone in his class.  He can now write his name and he writes it good something he couldn't do when he left his old school.  The changes in him are amazing. 

When I think back I want to kick myself for not doing this sooner, but I am glad that I did it.  I am glad my baby didn't have to spend another day getting picked on and hating school.  He eats his lunch everyday, he plays with other kids, he has friends, he doesn't "feel sick" anymore and most importantly he is happy!


Marie said...

I'm so glad you were able to get him out of that situation and into a new school that he loves! As a former preschool teacher, I cannot believe the behavior going on with those other kids picking on him!!! How could they have not seen it or brought it to your attention sooner. How did the other parent react during the Christmas program? Did you want to go up and scream in their ear and slap their head? It sounds like he is in a great school now! Good job Janelle! You are a great mom!

Jen said...

Aw, poor little Andrew.........way to go Mom!

Thanks for following and back atcha!

Janelle said...

Marie, the other mom wouldn't look at me. I know she saw it but she doesn't discipline her kid. During all the parties he ran around like a lunatic and she continued talking to whoever and not paying attention. AHHH it still makes me angry to think about but then I tell myself he is better off so ha! :)

Thanks Jen!