Monday, August 23, 2010

Finding Faith Again

I used to go to church all the time and when I met my husband it was very very important to me to get married in the church.  I wanted my marriage and my kids to grow in the light of Jesus.  I love Jesus with all my heart and I am embarrassed to admit this, but after the kids came along we found that going to church was not as easy as it used to be.  I know I know life isn't easy but for me it was a struggle.  Our church was 45 minutes away and after sitting in the car for that long expecting them to sit an hour in church quietly was an impossible task.  There was a church closer to our house however I did not like it and decided I would rather not go to church then go to a church I didn't like or feel comfortable in.

The thing that was hardest for me was how different the churches here in Atlanta are compared to where I grew up in Ohio.  My church back home was small and intimate.  You knew everybody and everybody knew you.  There were no separate rooms for children or babies (a.k.a cry rooms).  You truly felt like a spiritual community.  I had no idea what to expect when I moved here and I was completely overwhelmed by the size of everything.  I did eventually find the church I loved but then we moved and that is when the church became a long way to go with small children (something I never thought about).   It just seemed silly to drive an hour just to sit in the hallways and miss the entire service because the baby was crying or pooped or whatever the reason was.  So we just stopped going.  I have never been one to believe you HAVE to go to church, but I do believe you need to have time for prayer and worship whether that is in a church or your home.  Unfortunately that became something we did less and less also over the years. 

I am not proud to say any of this but it is all the truth.  Over the years of not going to church I have found myself lost.  I am not the woman that I want to be or that He wants me to be.    My husband and I have found a church that we both seem to like and we have started going to mass again.  Andrew and Maiya didn't not like it the first week but this past Sunday they really had a good time.  Andy and I are feeling good about things and are excited to rekindle our faith and love for Jesus.  A faith that was never gone, just sadly buried.

Numbers 6:24-26
"The LORD bless you and keep you;the LORD make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you; the LORD turn his face toward you and give you peace."


Anonymous said...

beautiful post that I'm sure many can relate to... We stopped going for awhile too, but have thankfully found a church we now love... I enjoy your posts!

Kayla said...

what a great post! I have always struggled with "organized religion." When I had Potato I really wanted to start bring him but DH has just found God a few years ago so convincing him to go to church is a lot harder than I thought. It's not for everyone. I do hope that we eventually start attending services. I am glad that you and yours have started your spiritual journey together.

Sofia said...

I used to go to church but stopped many years ago. Both DH and i want to take the boys to church eventually. The church I want to go to is, also, 45 minutes away.

Thanks for stopping by my blog. Your comment brought tears to my eyes, but thanks for the support!

From PDX with Love

Heather said...

Hi! Janelle thanks for stopping by my blog this morning. I have to admit the same thing. I stopped going to church while pregnant because I loved my sleep and getting up and sitting in an uncomfortable seat just wasn't something I wanted to do when I was so tired. So I vowed to go back to church once the baby was born....lets just say it took me 16 months to get back to church. Our church has kiddie rooms with people who take care of the kids and I think its great. It gives me an hour and half to sit with God and get my weekly reality check. It is hard to get to know people in a big church. Our church is held in a high school and due to past bad church experiences I'm really shy at church.

Anyway, just wanted to let you know that you aren't the only one that fell off the wagon after having a kid.

Anonymous said...

Hi Janelle! Found your blog on bloggymoms. I can relate to this post. We moved away for a year & it was so hard to find a "good" church (really, just what we were used to). We didn't go to church for the whole year & it was a difficult time for us spiritually. We are so glad to be back & involved in a church again.